You Should Be A Middle Reliever
Kanye West dropped a new album this weekend, and also tweeted a bunch of weird stuff about how much he is in debt.
He then asked Mark Zuckerberg for some cash:
Maybe (probably?) Kanye is just trolling, but a world-famous and impossibly successful musician being sort of not-rich isn’t that far outside the realm of possibility. The music industry is in alternating states of flux and decline, and it’s taken a serious toll on the artists. A successful indie band makes lawyer money, while Run The Jewels give their music away for free and earn a modest living off touring and merchandise. Meanwhile, Kanye West isn’t exactly on a perpetual tour, doesn’t place beats anymore, and sinks a lot of money into his fashion lines. Who knows if he actually is $53 million in debt, but given the nature of the music industry, it wouldn’t be all that surprising.
You know who isn’t $53 million in debt? A bunch of middle relievers. Here, via Baseball Reference, are some middle relievers I just thought of, and their career earnings:
LaTroy Hawkins: $47,462,500
Jeremy Affeldt: $42,063,00
Joaquin Benoit: $39,032,500
Arthur Rhodes: $38,919,000
Mike Timlin: $38,477,894
Scott Downs: $30,930,000
Brandon League: $30,193,800
Matt Thornton: $26,553,000
Imagine how great it would be to make that much money at a job that requires you to pitch one or two innings every two or three days. It is the official position of Deadspin that the music industry is stupid, baseball is the best, and that anyone who wants to be rich and happy should become a middle reliever.
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