What The Hell Is Phil Jackson Even Talking About?

Knicks president Phil Jackson sat down for a Q&A with this week, and things got a little weird. Aside from congratulating himself on doing a generally fine job with the Knicks and saying nothing that should convince anyone that his ideas about basketball have gotten less crappy, he addressed that really dumb tweet he sent during the playoffs.

From the Times:

Q. In the middle of the playoffs, you took to Twitter to ask N.B.A. analysts to give you “some diagnostics” on how 3-point-oriented teams were faring. It struck most as a criticism of teams like the Warriors who take a lot of 3-point shots. You asked, “How’s it goink?” What was that about?

JACKSON: They have all these analysts. I just wanted to see someone come back to me with statistics: Is 3-point shooting in the playoffs as consistent as it is in the regular season? Does your 3-point-shooting percentage change because you’re in the playoffs? No one figured that one out. And that’s probably me being obtuse to leave it open at the end. But “goink” is one of those New York expressions that we use, and I will tell you this: I learned something. Someone sent me the fact that if you look it up on Urban Dictionary, you’ll find out what it means in today’s society.

That answer could not possibly have a stronger stench of bullshit. You’ll recall that when Jackson sent his bad tweet, the Bulls and Wizards—two of the more three-point averse teams in the playoffs—held 2-1 series leads in the playoffs. Jackson was absolutely trying to do a touchdown dance in the faces of all those people who just don’t “get” basketball like he does. Trying to play it off like he was just asking an innocent question is the weakest sauce.

But we’re getting away from the point here, which is that Jackson was really on one during this interview. “Goink” is a New York expression? And what’s this about Urban Dictionary?

Q. Should I look?

JACKSON: Well, it’s rather bizarre to say the least.

Q. So it wasn’t just a typo?

JACKSON: “Goink” is a castoff expression, right? Instead of, “How’s it going?,” it’s, “How’s it goink?” It turned out to be either a combination of a mixed ethnic group: part Korean, part Chinese. Or it’s a vernacular term for how do you deal with a sexual partner.

Q. That was not your intention though?

JACKSON: No, I had no idea.

Let me see if I have this straight: Phil Jackson honest-to-God thought that “goink” was a real slang term, meaning that he used it on purpose, but he did not know that it is defined by Urban Dictionary as such: “To place both your balls in a partners mouth, then repeatedly slap their nose with your tumescent penis in a vigorous manner, preferably whilst waving your other arm in the air.”

Gonna be a fun Knicks season.

[ NYT]