Try To Look Surprised: Ozzie Guillen And Bryce Harper Have Beef

Ozzie Guillen is upset about something or other, bemused sources tell exhausted beat reporters. Also Bryce Harper did something with something and something something professional something something respect for the game.

A thing happened in a game and now Ozzie's all mad and cursing about it, for the 117th time in baseball history. It wasn't a huge issue and it was addressed in-game, but that didn't keep Guillen from raising a stink, to the point where that's all anyone is talking about, because that's what Guillen does and none of us can stop him. Christ, not again, says everyone, but yes, again.

And also Bryce Harper was involved, because he can't put his socks on without someone getting offended. But as per usual, Harper escalated things by doing something semi-dickish that he didn't have to do, and that led to other stuff, and here we are, and now it's this big thing even though it shouldn't be a thing at all, and it would go away if we would just ignore it, but we can't because OZZIE GUILLEN and BRYCE HARPER and UNWRITTEN RULES OF THE GAME and please just go away.

In related news, Bobby Valentine also said things.