The Ongoing Madness Of Shawn Andrews

Last summer, I did a story about Eagles offensive lineman Shawn Andrews and his self-diagnosed depression issues, but after a recent odd locker room outburst in front of reporters, I'm a little more convinced he's got some major problems.

The Philadelphia Inquirer's John Gonzalez (AKA: "The Mexican No-Show") scribbled this little Andrews anecdote into his cuaderno and, thankfully, it made the grown-up paper:

Shortly after Shawn Andrews declared he was at his "zenith of my happiness" and that "hell, yeah" he expected to be on the field for the Eagles' season opener, a strange scene unfolded in front of his locker. Andrews revealed that he texted Andy Reid recently and told his head coach that he was "ready to sell out like a Michael Jackson concert." When one reporter asked whether that's sort of a bad omen - since MJ is dead now - everything screeched to a halt and Andrews shook his head.

"What are you trying to say?" Andrews asked. "That I'm going to die?"

Awkward.

The two parties stared at each other in silence for a second while the rest of us just stood there and tried to act invisible. Eventually, the reporter assured Andrews that, no, he didn't think Andrews was going to die anytime soon.

More blinking. More silence. More weirdness. Then everyone just sort of slowly backed away and dispersed.

I think "More Blinking. More Silence. More Weirdness." is the perfect title for Andrews' inevitable autobiography that he'll write from the safety of his supervised work station at some mental health facility later in life, most likely penned in goose feces and blood on the back of a diner menu.

Bad Guys Just Now Bad [Gonzo (second section)] The Shawn Andrews Experience [Phil Sheridan/Inky]