The Atlanta Hawks Are The Sorriest Fucking Losers In The History Of The Universe

Give credit to soft, washed, buster-ass piss-baby Paul Millsap, I suppose, for successfully whining this series into unwatchable whistle-ball, for that is all he accomplished. Despite the referees doing everything short of hogtying D.C.’s frontcourt on his behalf, his Hawks, entering the final days of their 71st consecutive season as basketball’s least-existent franchise, folded up like a convertible sofa in the fourth quarter and fell to the mighty Wizards, 109-101.

When it mattered, they had nothing whatsoever for the extremely cool and handsome John Wall and Bradley Beal, because they are the softest chumps who ever crawled the surface of the earth. Maybe Millsap will have better success griping his way into a suite upgrade in Cabo San Lucas next week.