Report: Peyton Manning, Who Can't Play Anymore, Won't Play Anymore

According to ESPN’s Chris Mortensen, who presumably had to work for years just for the right to be the first person to tweet it, Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning will announce his retirement tomorrow. What awaits Manning in the football afterlife? Coaching? Ownership? Broadcasting? Diplomatically answering questions about hired goons and/or face-sitting? One can only speculate.

As for the Broncos, they’re now free to turn over the franchise to Brock Osweiler, who lost his job last season to a guy with a dead arm. Sounds promising!

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