Please Listen To Mike Francesa Shopping For Corks

MLB’s selling authenticated champagne bottles and corks from various teams’ locker-room celebrations, as they have in years past. On today’s show, Mike Francesa wanted to look into the going rate for Mets corks. Listeners were blessed to listen to Francesa traversing the online store for these corks, or “cawks,” as he said it with his thick, thick accent.

Some select quotes:

I got cawks from other teams too! I got St. Louis Cardinal cawk! I got Texas Ranger cawk! I need specific cawk, because there’s more than one cawk here.

Is it under celebratory cawk?

You guys get cawk there? Oh, there we go. So, I got it.

You want that cawk.

These Blue Jay fans are paying 55 bucks for the cawk, already.

The auction ends in December. Yeah, just in time for Christmas. Wrap a piece of cawk and put it under the tree.

These excerpts really don’t do the entire segment justice, though. Please listen. Via @Poulos:

“There’s offensive, and then there’s offensive,” Francesa said to end his rant about the cawks. “You can’t make it up.”

H/t to Nick

Contact the author at samer@deadspin.com.