Please Don’t FaceTime In Public Like A Complete Asshole

You already know the rules of engagement here. If you are out in public, you should not make a show of yourself. You should not run around naked. You should not punch people. You should not watch video on your phone without without headphones. And you should not EVER, under any circumstances, engage in a max volume FaceTime call with your buds where everyone else can hear that shit. These are rules any sane person can abide by and YET, in America 2018, there is an alarmingly growing number of oblivious shitheads willing to flout these rules because they think they’re special. Well let me tell you something, Mister Speakerphone: If I catch you in the act, I’m gonna kill you. You’re the reason we have Trump, and I hate you, and THAT is the subject of this week’s Deadcast.

But is there more? NEED YOU EVEN ASK? Of course there’s more. This is a special all-Funbag episode with Roth and me, so strap in for the return of the Bob Kraft impression, plus answers to some of your most pressing questions about preseason sports, grunting, teaching a gorilla how to hit a baseball, and more.

You can also listen at iHeart Radio, Stitcher, Spotify, NPR One, Apple Podcasts, or GooglePlay. And don’t forget to email us tips and/or general complaints at deadcast@deadspin.com. Have fun out there.