Marco Rubio On Whether He’ll Do His Job: “No One Can Make That Commitment”

Marco Rubio, a former presidential candidate who got trounced in his own state and is best known for never showing up to work, wants to be your senator, kind of. Because while he almost certainly wants to get elected, he just can’t say that he’ll be around to actually do the job itself.

In an interview with CNN earlier today, Rubio was asked if he could “commit to voters here in Florida” that he’ll serve all six years if elected.

At this point, the man who broke his tooth on a Twix bar just months ago became visibly appalled, saying:

No one can make that commitment because you don’t know what the future’s going to hold in your life, personally or politically. I can commit to you this, and this is that if I am running to be a U.S. Senator, I am fully prepared to allow the U.S. Senate to be the last political office I ever hold.

Several things here. First: “No one can make that commitment.” Of course they can! In fact, people make similar promises every day. If he’s trying to be coy about the fact that he might consider another presidential run in 2020 because he hates himself, though, there are far better ways of getting that sentiment across. As it stands now, Marco Rubio just kind of sounds like he doesn’t want to show up to work—which, to be fair, he hardly ever does. So at least he’s being vaguely honest.

And for the kicker: “I am fully prepared to allow the U.S. Senate to be the last political office I ever hold.” Well, buddy, that’s good to hear. Because as it turns out, the country agrees.