Kyle Shanahan gets real dark real fast on Jimmy Garoppolo question

Because apparently I can’t avoid discussing the 49ers or the third overall pick or any of its ramifications, I’m here today to bring you the latest bit of commentary surrounding the selection. At a Niners press conference today, head coach Kyle Shanahan and General Manager John Lynch said a lot of words without saying anything at all, but Shanahan also gave us a great look into his own existentialism and sense of mortality.

When asked if Jimmy Garoppolo will be on their roster after the draft is over, Shanahan said: “I can’t guarantee that anybody in the world will be alive on Sunday.”

Whoa. Deep, man. I understand that the pressure both internally and externally must be unbearable right now in the mounting crescendo of opinions being hurled in his direction, but Shanahan needs to keep it together and do his best Sonny Weaver Jr. impression from “Draft Day” and make this draft worth the capital he gave up.

We went straight from trade speculations to life and death. Shanahan is proving to be one of the great philosophers of his time, embracing chaos in concert with the mortality and finality of life. It seems like he’s having a bit of an existential crisis.

As Albert Camus, clearly a contemporary of Shanahan, once said: “You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”

So stop searching, Shanahan. Just live your life without searching for that meaning, and make the draft pick that you want to make. Consensus be damned, I say… unless “living your life” means not taking Justin Fields. In which case, do not live your life, and take Justin Fields.