"Kick Me In The Jimmy!"

Jaguars defensive tackle John Henderson needs that extra little slap in the face to get ready for gametime. Funny, as Brett Myers does the same thing to his wife come bedtime. I'd like to think Joe there was hired solely for this purpose. As seen on Jaguars job board: "Wanted: fella with shaved head to meekly slap mammoth killer of men in the face." Why not take it a step further and hire a dandy to slap him with white glove? I know that'd get me riled.

Otherwise, I'm good to go on weapons grade caffeine.

Tips/handy slaps: XmasApe@gmail.com