Kevin Everett Picked The Wrong Game To Attend

For as much as he's been through this year, injured Bills tight end Kevin Everett has to be all confused why the Giants aren't exactly collapsing according to plan this late in the season.

After falling into a 14-0 hole, the Giants tied it up by riding Brandon Jacobs into the end zone twice. (I picture a little yoke and covered wagon myself, and Tom Coughlin yelling at the sun for not reaching high noon by 11:55.) A field goal gave them the lead halftway through the game. Giants 17, Bills 14

The Ortonator is doing a commendable job of what one may call "managing the game," which means he isn't throwing touchdowns or interceptions, and the only time his offense is stalling is when they're in field goal range. Bears 13, Packers 7

It's been 16 weeks and, nope, still don't understand that Peyton Manning cell phone commercial. Colts 24, Texans 7

Sure enough, Lane Kiffin promised us JaMarcus Russell in this game, and by gum JaMarcus Russell is in this game. Fortunately, he made no promises to him playing well. Jaguars 28, Raiders 3

This impressive 9-5 start by the Cleveland Browns was all an elaborate prank leading up to this seemingly meaningless game against Cincinnati. Isn't it? ISN'T IT?! I knew it. Bengals 19, Browns 0

The Lions are scoring in all sorts of ways. Rushing touchdown. Field goal. Defensive touchdown. Special teams safety. All I need is "dropkick PAT" to complete my bingo card. Lions 19, Chiefs 14

Also, this game's happening, bringing much interest to fantasy general managers. Every championship game is likely riding on the X-factor of Aaron Stecker. (Yes, he has two touchdowns. Nice free-agent pickup, you.) Eagles 24, Saints 17