Just What This Guy Needs: Free Stuff

We forget this sometimes, but the winner of the Super Bowl MVP is awarded with a brand new gas-guzzler for peddling their wares on the world's largest stage. Therefore, we have the sublime pleasure of watching a man who makes eight figures a season decided which mammoth Cadillac he'll give to staffer for a Christmas present. This bothers us in a way we can't put our finger on; we liked it better when the celebrities on game shows had to give their winnings to charity.

Not that we don't treasure the mental image of Peyton Manning pimping up his Escalade.