Hey, It's An Excuse To Take A Long Lunch
This helpful graphic here serves to make Deadspin as the 40,000th place already today to remind you that it's Election Day, your opportunity to stand in line with blue-haired woman to cast a vote that won't count, will likely not be noticed and will only serve to remind you of the meaninglessness of your singular existence. Woo-hoo! Go America!
We do, actually, encourage everyone to get out and vote today, if just because you get to feel smug all day and sometimes they give you a sticker. If you're looking for a sports angle, you can vote for Lynn Swann or Heath Shuler, you can keep in mind the potential bill that might hinge on the next chairman of the Ways and Means Committee or you can just stand outside the polling place with your face painted and yelling, "DE-FENSE! DE-FENSE!" That wouldn't make much sense, but it might be cold where you are, and the face paint could help.
But yeah. Go out there and vote if you want. Consider it practice for our own vote around here next week, when we will begin the ballots for the Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year. And our votes, unlike the ones you cast today, are guaranteed to count.
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