Bears Begin The Season With Five-Yard Penalty

Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap.

What's wrong with this picture? Besides the fact that someone would just be hanging around Soldier Field watching paint dry. Reader Matthew R. says his "friend" snapped this picture last week before the Bears final exhibition game. Great googily moogily! Why can't Jimmy The Groundskeeper read?

Fortunately, the Bears open at Green Bay so they still have an extra week to figure out what went wrong and hire a new painter. Or maybe, since it's Chicago, they can find a corrupt building contractor to pick up the entire stadium and move it five yards.

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It's Friday. We're so close.