Barbados's National Soccer Team Is Accepting Applications

True story: Once, when I went to Barbados on business, I made such a good first impression that my customer asked me if I wanted to marry his daughter, move permanently to the island, work for him, and have a place of my own to live. Sight unseen, I had to respectfully decline, but also because I wasn't sure if he was kidding or not. But if I had known that I'd be eligible for Barbados's national soccer team ... well, shucks, that changes everything.

The sports conglomerate known as Fanjury Percent 100 IQ, or something like that, stumbled across the Barbadian national soccer website, and from the looks of it, Cheap Ass Flyers has branched out into web design.

ARE YOU BARBADIAN BY BIRTH, NATIONALITY, OR DESCENT? LET US CHECK IT OUT FOR YOU DO YOU PLAY FOOTBALL PROFESSIONALLY? WOULD YOU LIKE TO BECOME A MEMBER OF BARBADOS' NATIONAL FOOTBALL PROGRAMME? Seniors, Youth, Women. SEND US A NOTE AT bdosfootball@caribsurf.com or ronalddac@yahoo.com.

Barbados is No. 121 in the world, tied with Estonia. If you're smart, you start a bidding war between Barbados and St. Kitts for your citizenship, asking for a sugar plantation and some sunscreen. This advice, of course, is contingent on whether or not you're given an arranged marriage proposal.

In Case You Are Available On Sunday [FanIQ] Barbados Soccer