Banned In The U.S.A.

To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week.

Mr. Iracane is the guy who approves and deletes comments around here, and the fellow to whom you should address any comment account requests, and he will explore issues involved in commenting, what makes a great comment thread, what's working, what isn't, answer your questions, so on. We want the place to continue to be as much fun as it is every day, and it's not an execution thread like our friends at Gawker do. We like to be inclusive here, because if we're not, we'd be forced to rely on our own wit and knowledge, and that's a scary thought indeed.

So here's this week's column, on what it means to be "banned" ... after the jump. Of course, don't be afraid to let him have it in the comments.

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As the official Deadspin commenting intern-slash-guru-slash-ombudsman, I get to read both unpublished comments and emails from the folks who are submitting them. Ideally, everyone would get a chance to make hilarious comments on our Web site; unfortunately, most of what I read in the unpublished queue is not quite on par with the witty repartee that our regular commenters contribute on a daily basis. That's quite a damning statement, too, because some of our regular commenters are not exactly Woody Allen circa 1965 in the humor department.

Still, if you want to become a Deadspin commenter and you have no idea what you're doing, go read this FAQ and then come back and read some of these hints:

If you are trying to post comments and notice that your account has suddenly been "banned," that does not mean you have been naughty. It means you were not accepted as a commenter, and your comments have been deleted. Unfortunately, the very button I use to ban Supermike is also used to delete auditioning commenters. You'll get an awful red X over your avatar on your profile page, thus bringing great shame to your ancestors. Sucks, right? No worries: just create a new account and try again. Who is going to stop you? Not me.

If you email me and miraculously find yourself in my good graces, I will send you an official invite link. Use that link to create a brand new active commenting account; you can skip the auditioning process. If that invite link doesn't work, email me right away and I'll ignore you for 36 hours and then send you a new one. Easy peasy!

Still having technical difficulties? Can't upload an avatar? Don't email Will. The 'tips' email address exists for one reason and one reason alone: pictures of girls peeing in stadium bleachers. Remember this email address: commentguru@deadspin.com, for all your commenting-related inquiries.

I've said the word 'comment' so much, the word has lost all meaning. These folks, however, mean the world to me because they made the Comments of the Fortnight:

Re: Eric Schnupp's "going problem" Sheepblog: How many Schnuppbucks will it take him to get out of jail?

Re: Larry King's asploded head Dread: Guess you guys aren't old enough to know what the aftermath of a prostate exam looks like.

Re: Colorado's World Series ticket sale fiasco Christmas Ape: The Rockies' team charter says to admit two of every animal.

Re: The worst video game athlete in history

Barry Lutz: I created a player named Adolf Hitler in NCAA Football '99. He was pretty bad. Terrific wide receiver, but very bad person.